


almost like a christmas miracle

by minimitchell



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ballum advent calendar, reconnecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minimitchell/pseuds/minimitchell
Summary: They haven’t seen each other in close to fifteen years now. In fact, the last time they had seen each other in person was through the rear window of Callum’s dad’s car when they had moved away from Walford after his big brother went to prison. They had tried to keep in touch through email and letters after that but just how it always is with these kinds of long distance friendships, they had eventually lost touch with each other.It doesn’t mean that Ben hasn’t spent the last thirteen years thinking about Callum again and again. He definitely has.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 20
Kudos: 80





	almost like a christmas miracle

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for day 2 of the ballum advent calendar on tumblr and is most definitely the cheesiest thing i've ever written.  
> thanks for reading, if you enjoy it please leave a kudos or a comment. <3
> 
> (tumblr: minimitchell)

As far as Ben’s concerned, every store selling toys in the entirety of London can go fuck itself. This must be the tenth store he’s in right now - all in search for this one stupid doll Lexi desperately wants. He shouldn’t have left it until the 24th, sure, but the damn thing has been sold out online for weeks now and he foolishly hoped he could just stroll in here and grab it off the shelf. But apparently, every other parent also had that idea.

It’s how he finds himself just browsing through the aisles, looking for anything he could use as a substitute that won’t make his daughter throw a tantrum tomorrow morning. He’s inspecting some other doll that looks almost identical as far as he’s concerned, texting Lola to see if this one is acceptable as well, when someone hesitantly taps him on the shoulder.

“Ben?”

The voice alone brings an onslaught of memories to the forefront of his brain, memories too bittersweet to think about most of the time, and when he turns around to face the guy, his breath gets stuck inside his throat because it really is him.

“Callum. What are you doing here?”

They haven’t seen each other in close to fifteen years now. In fact, the last time they had seen each other in person was through the rear window of Callum’s dad’s car when they had moved away from Walford after his big brother went to prison. They had tried to keep in touch through email and letters after that but just how it always is with these kinds of long distance friendships, they had eventually lost touch with each other.

It doesn’t mean that Ben hasn’t spent the last thirteen years thinking about Callum again and again. He definitely has.

“Here in this store? Buying presents for Stuart’s kids. Here in Walford? I moved back here like a week ago.”

There are matching, bright smiles on both of their faces and Ben is really relieved that Callum seems just as delighted to have run into him as Ben is at seeing him again. He doesn’t know how he would feel if Callum wasn’t that happy to see him because, well, Ben is over the moon at this.

Callum looks good, really good. Ben has seen pictures of him over the years but they don’t do justice to the perfect way in which Callum has grown into his features over time. His stubble is a little more pronounced, like he hasn’t shaved in a couple of days, and the light blue of his eyes is still just as captivating as it was when they were fifteen.

They’re still connected on various social media sites so it’s not like they have absolutely no clue about each other’s lives. Ben knows that Callum spent some time in the Army a couple years ago and he vividly remembers waiting with bated breath to see a status update from him on Facebook when Callum was on tour, just so he knew that he was okay and safe. Ben has seen pictures of Callum reconnecting with his brother on Instagram; has even seen some tagged photos of him attending his first ever Pride with some friends with teary eyes and pride in his heart.

He was the first guy Ben ever kissed and while nothing more happened between them - Callum wasn’t ready yet and Ben didn’t want to push him into anything - he knows now that no first kiss with someone will ever be as monumental to him as the one with Callum had been. And it seems like the feelings Ben had for him all these years ago never completely went away; they only faded into the background of his life like Callum did.

So yeah, they know the gist of each other’s lives but there’s still a lot they don’t know. Ben is desperate to find out every little thing. He wants to know how Callum eventually accepted himself. He wants to hear about the friends he made along the way. He wants to relearn what makes Callum laugh. He wants everything with him.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

Callum vaguely gestures to the doll Ben’s still clutching in one hand, shopping basket full of little things he thought Lexi would enjoy tomorrow.

“Last minute emergency shopping for my daughter.”

Callum knows about Lexi. Ben still remembers the moment he typed out an email to his estranged, former best mate with tears streaming down his face, explaining that he lost his virginity to Lola in a desperate bid to figure out if he really was gay and now, four weeks later, Lola told him she was pregnant and that his life was pretty much over now.

Only, it wasn’t in the end. And while it did take almost every one of their respective family members’ help and support to at least let Ben and Lola finish school, they did manage to bring up an incredible little girl together.

Callum never got to meet Lexi and to be completely honest, Ben doesn’t think she’d exist if Callum had stayed in Walford. Because there’s no way Ben could’ve convinced himself that his feelings for Callum were anything other than love, had he not moved away. And as much as he would’ve loved to explore this thing with Callum back then, he wouldn’t trade his daughter for the world now.

“Leaving that for the last possible minute? You haven’t changed a bit, I see.”

“Hey! You’re doing the same thing, aren’t you.”

It’s all in jest and when they share a small laugh with each other it’s almost like the last thirteen years never happened and they’re still right there - in the middle of the park in the midst of night after sneaking out of their respective homes to spend some more time with each other, even though they’ve been huddled together the whole day beforehand anyway.

When they sober up again, they’re left to just stare at one another for a moment, trying to take in every little detail of the other. All the changes and signs of the passing years they both carry in their faces. Callum must find something then and there that brings a soft, quiet smile to his face, reaching out to place a hand on Ben’s elbow.

“Do you maybe want to get a drink or something when we’re done here? I’d love to catch up with you.”

Ben almost falls over himself in his haste to agree; he’s almost ready to throw the presents away and leave immediately if he’s being honest. Going home with Callum to get to know him again sounds like a far better plan than going back to his own home and falling asleep in front of the TV any day.

“On the condition that you help me wrap these things, because I still can’t do that either.”

Callum agrees with a smile in his voice and they only peruse the shelves for another few minutes before making their way to the checkout. They joke and laugh the whole way there and Ben almost feels like he’s stuck in a dream because it all seems too good to be true this evening. Callum still has the same dorky humour he had when he was fifteen, but there’s an edge to him now. He isn’t as carefree anymore but Ben reckons the same can be said about him.

It’s another reminder how long they haven’t been a constant in each other’s lives, how much time has been lost between them, everything feels familiar yet like uncharted territory all the same. It’s scary and intriguing at the same time.

They talk about Lexi while making their way to their respective cars; about how she’s doing in school, who she takes after more and what her hobbies are. Ben appreciates the sincere interest Callum has in her a lot. If they’re going to reconnect and spend more time with each other again, which Ben really hopes they will, then it’ll be inevitable for the two of them to meet.

“She sounds amazing, Ben. I can’t wait to meet her, if that’s okay with you.”

It’s fascinating how Callum still brings forward the same feelings in Ben like he did all these years ago, his heart hammering in his chest since he set eyes on Callum today. There’s still the same fondness and love bubbling away under the surface, only waiting for the time it all boils over. It used to feel like that all the time; like one glance, one touch would be enough to break the dam and let the feelings run free - it feels like it’s even closer now than it used to be.

“Course it is. You still feel like family somehow, even if we haven’t seen each other in years.”

“Yeah, you do as well.”

There’s a gust of wind cutting through the charged silence between them, icy and harsh. It serves as a good reminder that they’re just standing in a car park on Christmas Eve while the temperature is slowly dropping lower and lower, the air crisp and cold.

“I’m not completely settled in yet but I’ve got beer or tea at home, if you fancy.”

Callum almost seems hesitant in suggesting it, sounding like he’s afraid Ben will say thanks, but no thanks to his offer. As if Ben could deny him anything; as if Ben had ever been able to say no to him at all.

“I’d love to.”

When Callum gives him his address, Ben finds out that he doesn’t live too far from the square, only a short drive away. It feels like another lucky stroke of fate, being so close to each other again, although he reckons it’s no surprise that Callum would like to move back into the area he’s lived in for so long. They drive to Callum’s flat in separate cars, Ben using the time to try and get his feelings under control again, to get his heartbeat back to normal.

It’s no use though. It almost feels like a Christmas miracle that he ran into none other than Callum tonight; like he’s the ghost of Christmas past here to remind Ben that he’s never quite moved on from the teenage crush he harbored on his best mate at the time. There’s always been this underlying feeling that something is missing with every guy he meets and every date he goes on. And although he hasn’t realized it until right now, what’s missing is that none of these men are _Callum_. No one gets him to smile the way Callum used to, no one makes him feel this safe and secure like Callum has done in the mere hour they’ve spent together now.

No one compares.

And no one ever will.

Callum lets him into the flat with a dramatic gesture that makes laughter tumble out of Ben's mouth and when he lets himself fall onto Callum’s couch, it’s exactly like they always imagined it would be when they’re older. With their own flats away from anyone else bothering them. Just him and Callum.

Callum’s flat is still somewhat barren, only a few pictures and trinkets littering the room and the shelves around him, but it still feels cozy and warm in here, not least because of the warmth that radiates between them whenever their eyes catch. Callum sets down to mugs of tea in front of him on the couch table, sinking into the spot next to Ben on the couch.

He’s close now, closer than they were in the store, and the realization does nothing to calm Ben’s already erratic pulse. He can smell his aftershave, not the garish one they tried when they were fifteen but something more discreet, and the lights of the lit-up Christmas tree in the corner of the room dance around in the light blue of Callum’s eyes. He’s nothing short of breathtaking.

“I’m glad we ran into each other tonight.”

Ben has to be honest about this; has to let Callum know just how grateful he is for meeting him again today. It’s like his own personal Christmas present that has come early; like the one wish he didn’t even know he had being granted.

“Me too. I would’ve tried to find you either way, you know. I always felt sad about us losing touch, but I never knew what to say or what to message you.”

“Yeah, I get that. It never felt enough to only see some photos or some status updates from you.”

Ben’s fingers had hovered over the _send_ button too many times to count, always held back by the fear that Callum wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore; that too much time had passed between them.

Callum moves around on the couch so they’re even closer now, their legs pressed together with the way they’re facing each other. Callum is almost absentmindedly playing with a loose thread on Ben’s suit pants, only minutely looking up at Ben from under long lashes.

“Yeah. I almost sent you an email once, typed out the whole thing only to delete it all. It was after some of my mates dragged me to my first ever Pride a couple years ago. I felt amazing and overwhelmed that whole day and I kept thinking about that kiss we had at my ‘leaving party’ in the park. All I wanted that day was to message you and say sorry for not getting what you wanted me to get that night.”

Ben shakes his head, ready to dispel any self-doubt Callum could have about this part of their history, reaching out to tangle their hands together. They still fit so well; like they were meant to hold one another. Meant to grow with each other.

“You weren’t ready yet. I never held it against you. Believe me, I only have good memories about that night.”

It’s true. No matter how many men he’s kissed by now, Callum will always be special to him. Not just because he was the first one and you never really forget your first, but because it was almost magical - under the stars with the boy he’d been in love with for a while now.

Callum untangles their hands but keeps Ben’s hand in his, playing with the fingers and running his thumb along the skin.

“I think I would’ve got there a lot faster with you by my side though.”

“You took as much time as you needed. And you did get there, that’s what counts. We can’t change our past.”

He doesn’t say anything about their future, but the implication is there for Callum to understand if he wants to. Ben wants them to have one, more than anything right now. It’s like he stepped out of his regular life and into some fantasy world, where he and Callum have been given a second chance at becoming what they were always meant to be. That is, if Callum wants that as well.

Ben reckons there’s only one way to find out.

“I always thought we’d end up together, you know. Down the line. You were always it for me. In the way fifteen year-olds know about love and being with someone forever at least.”

The confession doesn’t sit heavy on his chest. Instead, it feels like some invisible weight has lifted from the last thirteen years of his life, leaving only hopeful anticipation behind. By the way Callum’s face lights up at hearing the words, he’s not alone in being hopeful. 

He uses their entangled hands to pull Ben forward and into him until he’s perched right next to Callum kneeling on the couch, their faces close together.

“Were?”

Ben looks down at Callum’s lips instead of answering, trying to figure out how honest he should be. On one hand, this is Callum, who’s always been sweet and good and has always protected Ben’s heart like no one else after him ever did. On the other hand, he isn’t sure if they should be promising these big things to each other after practically not speaking to each other for well over ten years.

It only feels natural though with Callum. It feels right to put his heart on his sleeve and trust Callum with it, because he knows he won’t regret it. Callum is running his free hand over Ben’s face, fingertips skimming over the stubble on his cheek and dipping down to the soft skin of his neck. His eyes are following the path made by his hand before looking back up into Ben’s eyes, gaze warm and full of _love_. It’s enough to make Ben spill his deepest feelings for him, ready to take the plunge and let himself fall.

“I know we’re different people now. But it still feels the same to me. I look at you now and still think you’re the most beautiful person in the world. Whether I’m fifteen or twenty eight, I’ll never feel any different about you.”

There’s a beat where they’re just looking at each other, eyes roaming over each other’s faces, before Callum’s hand drops to Ben’s waist, pulling him further into him until Ben’s sitting securely across his thighs, knees on either side of his hips.

“You’ve become quite the romantic, hm?”

“Just for you. Now please just kiss me.”

Callum doesn’t have to be told twice it seems, because he leans forward to seal their mouths together almost instantly, hand running up Ben’s back. His lips are so soft against Ben’s and there’s not a trace of hesitancy in the way their mouths find each other again and again. It feels like they’re teenagers again, finally getting to kiss the other after wanting to do it, thinking about it, for so long.

Ben uses the hand that’s still tangled in Callum’s to press him backwards into the couch, falling forwards into Callum’s body with him. Ben keeps reminding himself that they’re adults now, that they’re both comfortable in their sexuality and that they can do whatever they feel like now. It’s an overwhelming thought.

Tomorrow, Ben will wake up in Callum’s arms for the first time ever and he will decide then and there that he will never let him go again. They will arrive together at Ben’s house for the Christmas celebrations and Ben will try to hold back on the heart eyes at watching Callum get welcomed back into his family with open arms, especially by his daughter who’ll immediately get Callum to play with her and her new Christmas presents. 

For now though, they’re happy to keep kissing each other under the twinkly lights of the Christmas tree, enjoying that fate brought them together again in the most miraculous way possible.

Outside, snow is slowly beginning to fall.


End file.
